The Kitty's Whiskers

The Kitty’s Whiskers

Prince Kitty was taking his daily walk when something jumped in front of him. Never one to like surprises, he raised his nose and closed his eyes and turned away in the most disagreeable fashion, so as the intruder would know he was not welcome. He began to preen himself as he so loved to do. “I’m the prrrrettiest Kitty” he muttered unto himself. “Mmmmmm. And I always will be”. Kitty was a very confident cat. He went by the name of Prince Kitty. He wasn’t Royal in any way, but he had an air of regality about him. He expected the best from himself and others around him. And if he didn’t get the best, he’d rather have nothing at all.

Kitty’s whiskers began to twitch as he felt the eyes of something bare right into the bone marrow of his handsome back. He turned his swarthy body around to view the obstruction. It was another kitty. A little kitty. A rather ugly one at that, the Princely one observed. One who dared to challenge his tranquility. One who looked as though he’d been in a bit of a fight with another and not of his kind. He had a torn ear and a wound that was still weeping and mottling his fur. To the untrained eye, this could be the makings of a wild animal. He was rather offensive to look at and Prince Kitty sneered to show he did not tolerate such a display of disorder on one’s person.  The barbarian cat sidled up to his majesty and gave him a smile, which suggested he hadn’t brushed his teeth in the whole of his entire life. Prince Kitty blinked furiously whilst trying to detach his nose from his face as the scent of the feral creature’s breath seemed to vomit all over him, which in turn caused his whiskers to palpitate further.

“What on earth do you want?” Kitty demanded as he looked down at him from his soaring height in comparison to the little runt cat in front of him.

“Friend,” said the wild cat moving closer, trying to sound as casual as he may, “I need a friend” he replied with a smirk which made him look quite idiotic, not to mention rather hideous.

Prince Kitty rolled his eyes at the incredulous inability of this imbecile to use more than one noun (except for the pronoun) in a five worded sentence. “Ugh” came the response. “I am NOT your friend, and I highly doubt I ever will be. If you don’t mind. I have some walking to do” Kitty moved off, not too quickly. He began to walk as he had before this encroachment of routine, not looking back once. He shook his head as he replayed the farcical scene that had just taken place. Wait until I tell mumsy, he thought. She will screech with delight at the prospect of my even having words pass between such complete opposites in social standing never mind almost having physical contact. “Oh, Ha haaaaaaaaaaaa” he laughed smugly.

Just then his whiskers again began to jiggle. Prince Kitty looked left and right and up and down without moving his head even a jot so as noone behind him could detect his awareness of everything going on around him at any point in time. He had adopted these ninja moves without the aid of any instructor. Prince Kitty was his own best instructor, he thought.  Possibly the best in the world. He sniffed the air and his eyes widened. “Oh, good gosh!” he exclaimed with a sigh. “What do you want, man?” He challenged whilst turning round in one sleek second towards the savage animal.

Little Kitty then looked up, slightly out of breath. “I…. I told… hold on…. I can’t breath”. Little Kitty was holding his chest tight and trying to catch his breath. His legs were so small that he had to take five steps just to keep up with one of Prince Kitty’s large, manly strides. As he came to, Prince Kitty saw that the little brute had one eye that veered slightly to the left and the other strained to look directly ahead, rendering it impossible to know who or what he was looking at at any given time. He looked completely and utterly out of control. Finally, he stood upright and was able to contain himself. “OK,” he started “I’ll try again. I need a friend”.

“I’m not deaf boy” Prince Kitty echoed. "I heard you perfectly well with my perfect ears the last time”

“Then, why did you leave?” begged Little Kitty.

“Because I did not want to engage in conversation with someone as dirty and common as you!” He bawled back at him. “Now get out of my sight and do not try to speak to me or even walk near to me again!”

Prince Kitty sauntered off very pleased with himself that he didn’t allow the cretin before him to come any closer than he already had. He could have contracted any amount of diseases and he wanted his body as it was. Perfect.

Little Kitty's head fell to the floor, hurt and confused. Why would someone be so nasty to someone as innocent and defenceless as me? He thought as his eyebrows met in the middle of his forehead and his mouth made a crescent shaped moon laying on its side. A tear fell, and he gathered himself up and went on his way. Not allowing this to shape his enthusiasm of the day. 

Poor Little Kitty had had a terrible day. It had begun as promising as could be, as Little Kitty prepared to make his presentation to his class on the ethics of equality, albeit the height of royalty himself. Although he was the top of his class, and year, he never looked down on anyone, and didn’t realise that others did either. Excited for the day ahead, he made his way to school.  As he was leaving his stately home, he got into a bit of a pickle. The driver hadn’t arrived on time to pick him up, which meant he had to walk all the way to school. This was a huge effort in itself as Little Kitty’s legs didn’t grow to the full size for a normal furry feline and it caused him great pain in his back as he tried to adjust his body every time he took a single step. On the way to his educational facility he had to cross over a path, which was not uncommon to flood from time to time. Today was the time it decided to let its waters flow thick and full, so Little Kitty had to make a change of direction. He saw overhead a bridge, and decided it would be better to be late than to be wet and to catch a cold. He made his way up the treacherous path, only to slip and tumble all the way down. Twice. The second time, he caught his collar on the sharp edge of a stone on the way down and it ripped him free from all identity, tearing at his ear and pulling at his flesh and bloodying his teeth. The third time he made it up to the bridge. All the effort had made his glasses steam with condensation, so he took them off to rub them clean.. only for them to slip out of his trembling paws and down under the path that he took so long to get up. Thinking it impossible to go down to retrieve them again without meeting his death, he decided that his butler would fetch him another pair as soon as he arrived at school. But now, poor Little Kitty couldn't see properly. He had a squint eye and was long sighted, so anything up close was very difficult for him to comprehend. He stumbled on the route he thought was correct, only for his whiskers to detect something in the air. It was a cat. Another cat! His eyes may fail him, but his whiskers never did. 

Little Kitty’s heart beat a little faster at the prospect of speaking to another kitty. He was always quite excited to meet another cat and this would cause him to stumble slightly over his words. Another of his kind would help him. Lead the way to school and to safety. The adrenaline was pumping so fast through his veins that he hadn't felt the pain of the blood oozing out of his neck from where he fell. The open tear in his ear, the double-sighted blurriness. Until now. As he stopped to take stock of the situation the adrenaline left his body for the moment. He felt a little dizzy, then his tummy did a summersault and he realised he was going to be sick. He regurgitated his entire breakfast of peppered kipper and caviar. Poor Little Kitty wasn’t looking very pretty.

He wiped his mouth and out he went from where he was standing and off to meet his fellow feline. But this feline didn't want to be his fellow. Although he couldn’t see very well, Little Kitty could detect the disdain in his huge, bellowing voice. He was pushed away. But this was his only hope. He’d had such an awful day, and he just wanted to go to school. He would try again. His whiskers led the way to where the other kitty was. Again, he tried to ask for help, only to be pushed away even further. Poor Little Kitty. Now he was going to be in trouble with school for being ever so late. With the driver for not waiting for him. For his guardians for losing his identity. With his eye doctor for losing his glasses. With his butler for looking so shabby. With his surgeon for tearing his ear. With himself for not having been patient enough from the start. He raised his head up and remembered his presentation. We are all equal, he thought, and rehearsed what he was to say.

Meantime, Prince Kitty had made his way back to mumsy, ready to regale her with the tails of the day.”Oh mamaaa”, he declared, a hand over his mouth in mock disguise of a titter, “just wait until I tell you what chanced upon ME today!”

Mumsy was glued to the television and wouldn't turn her gaze. “Look at poor little kitty” she pointed. “It seems he’s gone a missing”.

Prince Kitty tried to lure her away. “Yes, what a pity” he replied, “But Mamaaa, you must listen to what could have been a near death experience”.

Mumsy seemed to be transfixed on the television, ignoring the pleas of his Highness behind her. “Oh, they must be worried sick” she cried, eyes glazing over. “He is such a handsome little prince”

Prince Kitty frowned and went to see what all the fuss was about. There were pictures of Little Kitty in his mansion, tiny legged and holding up a certificate of honour, hair neatly combed and a collar round his neck. There was one next to his butler with a gaping smile and glasses that were so thick they magnified his eyes to double the size, one next to his guardian and holding his tummy in a manner to suggest he was nervous and felt a little sick - this one looked so endearing. Prince Kitty came a little closer to the tiny little screen that graced the corner of the one room he shared with his family. He imagined himself in the place of poor Little Kitty and how desperately he longed to be in the company of such. A picture then came of up of poor Little Kitty as a baby. He had one eye that veered slightly to the left and the other strained to look directly ahead. Prince Kitty peered a little more closely at the screen. His paw clasped his mouth as he gasped in realisation. 

“Friend, I need a friend”….

THE END

(or is it..)